My first episode of deep depression was a chemical hijack. It hit me as I drove over the Cascade mountains to the wet side of Washington state. The ominous clouds of despair sucked our entire moving van into its dark bowels.

See, I’d grown up in sun drenched, desert Utah and my brain didn’t understand shadows, fungus and gloom and couldn’t make the happy chemicals. I suffered with seasonal affective disorder in soggy Seattle for seven long years. 

Finally, my husband landed a job in Colorado. Presto Chango! The darkness dissipated and my energy returned. I plowed my experience with mental illness into a master’s degree in counseling psychology.

Ten years into my work as a licensed counselor, I discovered a new problem. This monster had enormous jaws, piercing teeth, and no matter what I tried, no matter how hard I worked, I could not seem to escape a pit of depression. I’d struggle to climb, make progress on the slippery rock just get my head into the light, and be functional, even hopeful for a month, and then lose my footing and slide back down. Even with eleven different therapists, increased exercise, journaling, self-help books, priesthood blessings, and constant pleading prayers, the darkness persisted for 14 debilitating years.

While my six children were in school, I taught psychology at a university and saw counseling clients. I discovered there were about ten habits of a happy marriage. My first husband and I enjoyed great success at emotional support, conflict resolution, and spending quality time. I found that if I could get couples to commit time to communication, and then work on any weakness in the other nine habits, I could help them enjoy, not just tolerate their marriage. Couples would say, “We’ve been to several other counselors, and you are the only one who helped us.” 

Sometimes, the monster problem knocked me back into the pit. Sadly I discovered when I had so little energy for my own pain and misery, I had no energy for my client’s problems. So, for a few years I relinquished my counseling practice and worked full time as a psychology professor.

Finally, the university said, “You’ve taught full and part time for 10 years. If you’d like to get your doctorate in business management, you only have to pay for books.”

I said, “Oh thank you. It would be great to understand business so I can help people with career counseling, but my life’s work has been helping people beat depression. So, can I study happiness?” 

The president of the doctoral program said, “As long as it relates to business.” 

So, I did a doctoral dissertation about how six behaviors that happy people have in common affect small business owners. This led to the construction of “The Happiness Ladder.”

Now I get it! I fully comprehend depression and I also know how to manage its evil siblings of anxiety, stress and anger. I understand happiness because I had to learn how to climb the happiness ladder. So, currently I use my 25 years’ experience as a licensed counselor to help others climb.